American actor, director & screenwriter (1935- )
Given the consistency and dimensions of his exaltation of flops, it has remained a puzzle on par with string theory how he manages to raise money for each fresh theatrical holocaust.
WOODY ALLEN
Mere Anarchy
Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love.
WOODY ALLEN
Annie Hall
Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN
New York Times, Dec. 1, 1975
This sounds so bleak when I say it, but we need some delusions to keep us going. And the people who successfully delude themselves seem happier than the people who can't.
WOODY ALLEN
"Woody Allen on Faith, Fortune Tellers and New York", New York Times, Sep. 14, 2010
I appreciate the chance to visit my mom on Mother's Day -- it's like taking a refresher course in guilt.
WOODY ALLEN
attributed, Just Like Mum Says: A Book of Mum's Wit
Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat ... college.
WOODY ALLEN
Annie Hall
There's no rhyme or reason to anything that I do. It's whatever seems right at the time.
WOODY ALLEN
"Woody Allen on Faith, Fortune Tellers and New York", New York Times, Sep. 14, 2010
The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to make fun of you.
WOODY ALLEN
New York Times, Dec. 1, 1975
I think if you have a comic perspective, almost anything that happens you tend to put through a comic filter. It's a way of coping in the short term, but has no long term effect and requires constant, endless renewal. Hence people talk of comics who are "always on." It's like constantly drugging your sensibility so you can get by with less pain.
WOODY ALLEN
interview, The Paris Review, fall 1995
I made the statement years ago which is often quoted that 80 percent of life is showing up. People used to always say to me that they wanted to write a play, they wanted to write a movie, they wanted to write a novel, and the couple of people that did it were 80 percent of the way to having something happen. All the other people struck out without ever getting that pack. They couldn't do it, that's why they don't accomplish a thing, they don't do the thing, so once you do it, if you actually write your film script, or write your novel, you are more than half way towards something good happening. So that I was say my biggest life lesson that has worked. All others have failed me.
WOODY ALLEN
interview, Collider, Aug. 15, 2008
You have no values. With you it's all nihilism, cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
WOODY ALLEN
Deconstructing Harry
If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.
WOODY ALLEN
Esquire, Sep. 2013